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It's funny how life changes. And then, in reality, it's really not very funny at all...
Over the past few weeks we've closed the book on another chapter in our lives. It was one that we all knew was coming....we were expecting it. And you'd think that when you're prepared, it's all good.
However, sometimes life has a way of throwing you a curve ball when you're least expecting it...even more so, I think....if you're a woman.
Over the past few weeks, we've gone from a home of 6 people to a home of two. Our children both moved out, into their own apartments. The two girls that we had taken into our home, our second daughters, Ariana and Shelby, also moved out as well.
While we are delighted for all of them and happy that they are all independent, happy, doing well and are able to live on their own, it's amazing at the feelings and thoughts that go through your mind once this happens.
I know that many of you are just entering the mommy stages of your lives -- or have small children ---or still have teens at home. Believe me...what they say is so true. It happens, and they'll be gone with the blink of an eye.
It's amazing how that happens. If you're a parent, you know that at times it seems life stands still.
* When you're the mom of a newborn, and you're tired and exhausted, time stands still.
* When you have a sick child....
* When you're the parent of a toddler whom you cannot make happy, who has learned how to throw tantrums (and does it remarkably well)....it seems like life is in slow motion
* When your children enter elementary school and go through hard times, it seems like those days last forever
* Middle schoolers bring on an entirely new set of challenges and worries-- the attitude, the hormones-- what happened to the little boy or girl who used to think you hung the moon?
* And needless to say.....while teen years can be the most amazing times of all....when they're your own children, it can be trying and wonderful all in the same breath.
Like you, I had always heard the old cliche' "before you know it, they'll be gone" and when times were tough, I'd think to myself....ok whatever. Now that I'm there, it seems so true. All the years of raising my children, literally seem like seconds instead of years.
I thought I was prepared. But at the end of the day when everyone had moved out, I went upstairs to close all the bedroom doors, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wow...they're all gone. A chapter of our lives has come to a close".
And then it begins....the mind is a remarkable thing....it has a way of playing tricks on you and making you question all the years that you just put behind you....
* Was I a good mom?
* Did I do my best?
* What did we do right...what did we do wrong? What if...what if...what if....
* What should we have done differently?
* Do they appreciate us...do they love us like we love them?
And then you begin to question your mortality --
* How much longer do I have on this earth?
* What's next?
* Where do we go from here?
* And you ask yourself -- Is this normal or am I going crazy? Are these feelings that everyone has when this chapter of the book of life is closed?
Looking back....the last couple of years have been a tough road to walk....
* The loss of a job
* The loss of my father
* Changing careers in the midst of midlife and during a recession
* Starting a new business
* Like everyone else, just trying to make ends meet
* And now, saying goodbye to our children
But we will be fine. I thank God everyday for giving me all He has given me....Loving parents who loved me no matter what I did and who loved each other until the day my father took his last breath.
For giving me two wonderful children that I have loved more than life. For giving me Chuck...who has been a wonderful father, husband and best friend and who has given me everything he possibly could all these years, who has loved me through thick and thin, for better or worse and who has never left my side. For an incredible family including an amazing sister and step daughter, nieces and nephews.
And I thank God for giving us the opportunity to do what we love to do....to photograph people - to create memories of the good times in their lives, their babies, their children, their teens, the final days of high school, their families, their engagements and their weddings.
We are thankful and appreciative for our association with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep -- where we have met some of the strongest and most amazing people ever -- those who have lost a child at birth.
We are thankful for Inspiration Through Art (formerly the Littlest Heroes Project) and for the incredible families we have met along the way who are raising children who are either terminally ill, who have faced death with these children, or who have children with life long disabilities.
Our hearts go out to these families....
We are thankful for Wish Upon A Wedding...where we have been given the opportunity to photograph and tell the story of amazing couples --- Couples who are facing a terminal illness or a life altering disability together, and who have chosen to love each other and stay together, and who have chosen to be married and to travel the journey ahead of them as one.
We thank God for our children, our family and for all of you whom we have met along this journey of life. May God bless each and every one of you.
And to Chuck, the best guy in the world...who is an amazing husband and puts up with me through times like this....I love you so much. Thank you for being my guardian angel and for always being there for me.
Beverly
